i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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