Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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