I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
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