I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
