Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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