wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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