Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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