so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
