Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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