Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My pussy is not your playground.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Boobs speak an international language.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
