Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
