You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
