no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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