Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
