oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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