clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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