then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
