I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
