were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
