Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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