I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
