I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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