This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
