she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
