He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
