i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
