Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
