babies were throwing up all over the place
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
