holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
