I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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