But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
