your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
