your thong is hanging out like whoa
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
