You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
