White coat. Heels.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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