Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
