If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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