you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We are all done wearing pants today
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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