i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
