how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize