two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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