well you can't waste a boner
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
