Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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