Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
