kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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