I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
