the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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