Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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