Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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