Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
