We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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