go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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