Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
