Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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