3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
