3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
why didn't you poke me back
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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