I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize
